


The Eyes are the Window to the Soul

by SpicyRedPaladin



Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: Alternate Universe - Soulmates, Blue Lion is a Stuffed Animal, Implied/Referenced Rape/Non-con, Lance and Shiro are Soulmates, M/M, Mental Health Issues, Mental Instability, Mental Institutions, Past Relationship(s), Rape Aftermath, Rape Archive Warning to Cover Reference, Romantic Soulmates, Soulmates, Suicidal Lance (Voltron), Suicide Attempt, This is really sad
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-05-13
Updated: 2018-05-13
Packaged: 2019-05-06 05:51:49
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,584
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14635413
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SpicyRedPaladin/pseuds/SpicyRedPaladin
Summary: Shiro didn't want a soul mate. He was scarred and broken and ugly. But Lance was scarred and broken, yet he was somehow still so perfect. So Shiro decided that having a soulmate might not be all that bad.





	The Eyes are the Window to the Soul

**Author's Note:**

> Adapted from a story time in the Shance Support Squad Discord channel.
> 
> Not Beta'd.
> 
> I hope you enjoy!  
> ~Eli

Shiro was never upset about seeing in shades of gray; in fact, he was glad. Not having a soul mate wasn't the worst thing he'd ever envisioned for himself, especially after the accident that took his arm and left him a scarred mess. He'd be lying if he said his appearance wasn't the reason he was so glad to be unshackled.

Not having a soul mate also have Shiro a lot of free time. So much, in fact, that he was the youngest member of his graduating class, achieving his Master's degree at the age of 23. Shiro was able to put all of his time into his passion, helping others. To say he wasn't inspired by the young therapist who helped him after his accident would be another lie.

It was his passion that brought him to River Creek Hills, an inpatient medical fever that treated what were deemed 'extreme cases'. Shiro ran a hand through his hair as he looked over the file of his newest patient.

Lance Carlos McClain, age 21, Hispanic descent. Admitted for mental troubles manifesting in self destructive behaviors. Notes: Found with blood on hands and eyes ripped out; admitted by family upon discharge from hospital.

Shiro winced a bit. The self harm cases were always sad. Low self esteem, bullying, dysphoria. There were so many causes that Shiro couldn't even begin to count them. He set the clipboard down before standing and heading to Lance’s room.

The young man was sitting in his bed, hands and face wrapped in gauze tape. He must still be considered at risk. Lance 'looked' around worldly when Shiro knocked on the door frame.

"Good evening, Lance. I'm Dr. Takashi Shirogane. If you like, I also go by Shiro."

Lance turned his head towards Shiro’s voice, lips pursed. He nodded after a moment.

"Hi..."

Shiro smiled. It was progress, even if it was only a single word. He sat in a chair beside Lance’s bed, taking out his notebook and pen.

"You don't have to talk, but I am going to ask you some questions."

Lance nodded again, but he kept his mouth shut. Shiro asked several questions about his family and friends, but not a word came from his patient. Finally, after almost an hour, Shiro sighed.

"Lance,  I want to help you. You may not believe it, but it's true. I'll be back tomorrow. You don't have to say anything then, either."

Lance nodded a third time, and Shiro stood. As he reached the doorway, a small sound behind him made him smile.

"Goodbye, Dr. Shirogane…

Shiro came back the next day armed with information and presents from Lance's family. He set something on Lance's lap, startling the patient at first. Lance timidly lifted his wrapped hands, trying to figure out what the object was. Finally, Shiro took pity on him.

"It's your lion. Your mom visited me earlier today. She said you'd want this."

Lance nodded, lips trembling a bit. Shiro sat, smiling softly.

"So Lance, your mom told me you like music?"

Another nod.

"So do I. You know, it's kind of funny... We both like Shakira and Pat Benatar..."

Lance turned towards Shiro, gulping before opening his mouth to speak.

"You like Shakira..?"

"Yeah, I love Shakira. I have all her albums. I.. brought a cd player. Wanna listen to some?"

Lance nodded, mumbling something. Shiro could make out the word 'hips', so he found the album with 'Hips Don't Lie'. Lance started to smile as the music played, his lips moving a bit to the sounds. Shiro leaned back in his chair, watching quietly. The two spent several sessions like this, listening to Shakira and random 80's music on Pandora.

It was almost a month before Lance started talking more than just a shy greeting and an even shier farewell. It started with Blue Lance's lion. Shiro asked where he had gotten it, and Lance's story did not disappoint him. It had been a present from his boyfriend for their second anniversary. Keith, the boyfriend, had gotten them matching stuffed animals, his own being red. They had gone all the way to the beach, a good four hour trip from River Creek Hills, and spent the day at the boardwalk before stopping at a carnival that happened to be open nearby.

As much as Shiro wanted to ask more about Keith, he knew better. He could tell that Lance wasn't ready yet by the way he winced each time he said the name. Instead, Shiro occupied his charge with little games like A-Z to ease his mind.

It was another two weeks before Shiro began to dig deeper into why Lance had come to be his patient.

"Lance, you know I have a file about you, yes?"

Lance nodded, playing with Blue. His hands had been unwrapped for a week now.

"It tells me a lot about you, but it doesn't tell me something important. What happened to your eyes?"

Lance frowned and stopped his hands.

"Lance, I know it's hard. But I need to know why you hurt yourself. I want to help you."

Lance gulped before taking a deep breath.

"Keith wasn't my soul mate... I knew it, cause we had touched a lot and all. But, like, we were in love so we really didn't care. But... But then there was an accident, and we both got hurt, and Keith..."

Lance began to tremble, squeezing Blue in his hands. Shiro felt his heart twinge with pain for his charge. He wanted to hold Lance close and help him through the pain of these memories, but River Creek Hills had a strict no-contact policy between  clients and staff unless it was necessary. So Shiro had to sit there and watch Lance cry wet spots into his bandages until their time was up.

Shiro let Lance have a few days of music after that. The way his charges shoulders sagged lower than usual wasn't lost to him, nor was the fact that his hands were wrapped again. It was Lance who spoke up first.

"I ripped my eyes out."

Shiro choked when Lance spoke, having been mid sip in his coffee. He wiped his face, waiting for Lance to continue.

"I.. I didn't want to see anymore. It was always black and white, but after Keith was gone... I just couldn't take it. I didn't want to find my soul mate. And I didn't want to see a world without someone to love me. So I ripped my eyes out."

Shiro nodded, knowing full well that Lance couldn't see it. He scribbled down Lance's confession, sighing softly. He felt that he needed to give Lance some of him now that he'd heard this man's words.

"I.. I was in an accident when I was little. I know you can't see it, but I lost an arm and have to use a prosthetic. I've ever told anyone, but... With all my scars and stuff, I just don't want to find my soul mate. I don't want them to be stuck with a broken mate."

Lance nodded, petting Blue gently and then holding her out to Shiro.

"Blue wants to give you a hug, Shiro. Trust me, her hugs help."

Shiro gulped and accepted the lion, holding it to his chest and closing his eyes. He really did feel better. After a few seconds, he sighed and passed it back.

"Thank you, Lance. I feel a lot better."

Lance nodded fumbling a bit as he took Blue back. Shiro suddenly felt all too aware of how close their fingers came to touching. He almost wished they had touched, just so he could see.

Shiro and Lance sat quietly in the facility's small garden. Lance was unwrapped again, Blue sitting in his lap. Shiro sipped his coffee, eyes closed. They were alone, as only one client was allowed outside at a time. Lance spoke up after half their time had passed.

"So... You haven't asked about the accident..."

Shiro smiled. He knew he'd get better results if he waited. Sure, it had taken four months, but it was worth it.

"I know. I wanted to wait until you were ready."

Lance nodded before sighing.

"Keith shouldn't have gotten caught in it but he was just so confrontational..."

Shiro waited quietly.

"It was Valentines day. We went out for a movie and honestly it wasn't that good cause this kid kept screaming. But while we were on our way home, these guys stopped us...They just wanted to rob us, but Keith tried to fight back. He told me to run, but one of them grabbed me..."

Shiro's eyes widened a bit. He knew the story he was about to be told. He had seen it in the paper, and now he was hearing it from Lance's own mouth.

"They drug us back into the alley and they were beating up Keith... I told them not to hurt him and he just... He kept talking back even when he was spitting out blood and then..."

Lance was sobbing now.

"Then one of them was touching me and I was so scared.... Keith kept yelling at them and they kept getting meaner..."

Shiro knew what happened next. When he read the story in the paper, he'd been so angry and so upset. The men who had attacked Lance and Keith discovered that Lance wasn't born male. He took a deep breath.

"Lance, you don't have to keep going... I heard about what happened. I'm sorry you had to feel so much pain. You're a wonderful young man and what they did was inexcusable."

Lance clutched Blue to his chest, trembling. Shiro knew it was time for Lance to go back to his room.

That night, it was Shiro's turn to make sure everyone was in bed and all the doors were locked. He started on the bottom floor and worked his way up to the third. He paused as he exited the stairwell into the third floor hallway. Something was wrong.

Someone was crying.

There was a breeze.

His eyes widened and he quickly sprinted down the hall, eyes flicking into each room as he ran. When he reached Lance's room, his darkest fears were realized.

Lance was kneeling on the ledge of his window, trembling and sobbing. Blue sat on his bed, forgotten. Shiro yelled, or didn't he? He couldn't tell. All he knew was that, in one moment, he was at the door, and, in the next, he had his arms around Lance's waist, pulling his back inside.

He sat with Lance, holding him close and crying softly against his shoulder. Lance continued to sob, head tilted back against Shiro. The two sat there until the orderly arrived, responding to Shiro's initial cry.

Shiro ran on autopilot back to his office, eyes clamped shutting and going more on autopilot than anything else. It was only after he fell heavily into his seat that he opened his eyes, staring up at the beige ceiling.

Wait.

Beige?

Shiro sprang up, eyes wide as he looked around his office. Purple notebooks on his desk, a rainbow of books on his mahogany shelves, green plants hanging from the ceiling. It was everywhere, and Shiro both loved it and hated it.

It was a week before Shiro saw Lance again. The doctor sat beside Lance's bed quietly, tapping nervously on his clipboard. Lance was strapped down to his bed now, wrapped in a straitjacket. Shiro gulped, finally speaking.

"I shouldn't have let you tell me..."

Lance smiled the faintest bit, lips trembling.

"But I needed to, Shiro... I needed to tell you. And honestly... I feel so much better..."

Shiro took a deep breath, setting down his notepad.

"Lance, was it because you told me? Did the memories..."

Lance shook his head.

"No... I don't know why I tried... But Shiro, I'm so happy you saved me. I can't even explain it."

Shiro could, but he wasn't sure yet how he should go about telling Lance. Would Lance even believe him? Would Lance believe that Shiro had fallen in love with his charge and then, surprise, they were soul mates?

"I'm glad you're happy to still be here. I... I would have missed you, Lance."

Shiro sighed.

"Our time is up today, Lance... I'll see you tomorrow, okay?"

Lance nodded.

"Can you put Blue on my chest before you go?"

"Of course I can."

It was fall when Lance had all his privileges back. To celebrate, Shiro took him back to the garden. Everything was dying, and it was chilly, but the two sat together with soft smiles, enjoying the day. Finally, Shiro spoke up. It was finally time.

"Lance, I wish you could see what I'm seeing..."

Lance laughed softly.

"Tell me about it, then, Shiro."

He took a deep breath, steeling himself.

"I see golden and amber leaves all around us. They're falling from the trees like snow. I wish I could show it to you, Lance..."

Lance's face fell.

"I... I thought you hadn't found your soulmate."

"I hadn't... But I have now."

"Oh... Well, uh... Who is it? Anyone I know..?"

"Yeah... Yeah, you know him pretty well."

Lance scrunched his face, thinking hard. Shiro couldn't help but find it beautiful.

"But I don't know anyone well, though... Except you and me."

"..."

"Shiro... Shiro, that isn't funny. Why would you fucking joke about something like that?"

Shiro quickly turned to Lance.

"No, Lance, please. I swear I'm not joking! After I pulled you in, I saw every color of the rainbow and I... I know it's not appropriate, but I fell in love with you, even before I knew. I love you with every fiber of my being."

Lance pulled Blue to his chest, trembling a bit.

"I... P-prove it.”

Shiro gulped, sitting back to think. Prove it. Prove it prove it prove it. He took a deep breath.

"How can I prove it, Lance? How can I prove it?"

Lance gulped.

"I don't know... Something important..."

Shiro nodded.

"How long do I have?"

Lance thought for a moment before taking a breath.

"A week...?"

Shiro nodded.

"Alright. It'll be done before the week is over."

Shiro was a whirlwind through the next week, finishing all of his paperwork and, shockingly enough to his fellow doctors, signing over every single one of his patients. He continued to visit Lance every day.

Finally, on the last day, he did it.

He marched into Lance's room, scooping the young man up in his arms. Lance cried out in shock before quickly being calmed by Shiro's voice.

"Lance, today is the last day of the week you gave me. As of today, I'm resigning from my position here to work at a different facility. I love you, and I know that I can't see you romantically as long as I'm your therapist."

Lance was stunned into silence, holding onto Shiro's shirt tightly. Shiro continued.

"I.. I hope this is enough to convince you. I really do love you, Lance. And You really are my soulmate. You're so beautiful, in black and white and in color. And I know you can't see it with your eyes, but I hope that you can see my love for you with your heart..."

Lance gulped and nodded a bit, throwing his arms around Shiro's neck and trembling as he cried. Shiro held him close until the on-site security made him go and get a visitor's pass.

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you so much for reading! Kudo and comment if you enjoyed it!


End file.
